"I shall say that fear is the answer to my question but even though i know the answer i cannot help myself but being afraid of living the life i want to.I know we live in dangerous days and times,and the world is not so pure and maybe never was,but i hate it when fear holds me back from enjoying something i want.Its only natural to be hurt,be betrayed ,be in pain and in a difficult situation and we cannot really avoid it cause thats life,unpredictable.I hate it,when the fear of being ugly or not enough for someone or not too smart ,make me another person,i hate it when i fear to love because i dont want to get hurt.When i prefer to dream cause i have the fear that if try to make them true ill screw it .One by one all these fears gather and make it impossible for me to live as i want ,and do what i want,even smile and be happy,cause i feel like somethings bad its going to happen .Its impossible for me to love myself when i see that im trying too much to make others happy but not myself,and thats because i m scared of being alone.You may not understand what im trying to say.My thoughts are really complicated at the time but i wanted to write sooo much,really,from the bottom of my heart and share with u,the reason why im unhappy.
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